First things first. Let’s address several things about the creepy webcam picture below.
- I am not naked.
- I am, however, sporting one of these fashionable get-ups post-shower.
- I always look like the Victoria’s Secret model featured in the above link when donning said get-up.
- Lies. In reality, I often cook immediately after showering. So my towel-dress-thingamajig—which I consider appropriate chef attire—is usually decorated with hummus (or salsa, or some other condiment I frequently dip my grubby hands into mid-cooking). As is my face.
- Your eyes do not deceive you. That is, in fact, a portobello mushroom the size of my head.
Last week, my local produce market put out giant portobello mushroom caps. I love portobello mushroom caps. I also love “Honey, I Blew Up the Kid”-sized vegetables.
Needless to say, the prodigious portobellos piqued my interest. Logically, I purchased three pounds.
(Shocker. Since I never hoard. And never overconsume.)
And so, I present to you the many ways I’ve been merrily making my way through my ‘shroom stash.
“Sticky Rice” Oatmeal-Stuffed Portobello
(Don’t cringe. I promise, it tasted fantástico.)
Ingredients:
- 1 mammoth portobello mushroom cap
- EVOO + sea salt
- 1/2 cup old-fashioned oats
- 3/4 cup water
- dash salt
- 2 tbsp. soy sauce
- 1/2 packet stevia
Directions:
- Microwave 1/2 cup oats with a dash of salt and just over 3/4 cup of water for 2.5 minutes.
- Combine 2 tbsp. of soy sauce with 1/2 packet of stevia.
- Stir soy sauce mixture into oats and set aside.
- Broil portobello (lightly rubbed with EVOO and sea salt) for 5 minutes on each side. (Mind you, this was for a big shroom. For a normal-sized portobello, you’d probably only need to broil for 3 minutes per side.)
- Remove from oven, fill with oatmeal mixture and broil for an additional 3-4 minutes until top is browned and slightly crispy.
First, let’s take a gander at the final product.
If my webcam head-to-‘shroom comparison didn’t convince you that these babies were L.A.I.C. (real language translation: large and in charge), the above picture is my A-‘roid-riffic portobello on a dinner plate.
Have I mentioned that Herculean vegetables fascinate (read: woo) me?
So, the logic behind this odd-to-you/normal-to-me creation:
Ever since I stuffed and broiled that cottage cheese and hummus ‘shroom several weeks ago, I’ve had a hankering to do further stuffed-and-broiled experimentation. Additionally, ever since discovering the wonder of instant “sticky rice” oatmeal, I’ve pretty much jumped at every opportunity to re-create it.
Never one to miss the boat on melding food obsessions, I seized the ‘shroom and allowed my cravings to combine forces.
I had to replace old-fashioned oats (you could use instant, but I didn’t have any en casa) for the packet of instant oatmeal I used in the original “recipe” because it wouldn’t have been enough to stuff this big ‘bello.
It turned out perfectly. The second broiling created an amazing outer layer of crispiness—and the flavoring from the soy sauce-stevia combo seeped into the ‘shroom. Glad I took that leap of taste.
Another super simple stuffed-and-broiled ‘bello creation:
The Laughing Cow Cap
Ingredients:
- Big ‘bello
- EVOO + seasoned salt
- 2 wedges Laughing Cow Light
Directions:
- Rub the portobello cap with a little EVOO (it really absorbs the flavor so you only need enough to lightly coat) and sprinkle with seasoned salt (Lawry’s=the best).
- Broil for 5 minutes on each side (top of the cap first). Remove from oven.
- Top with chopped Laughing Cow wedges and return to broil for another 2-4 minutes, until you reached your desired “crisp” factor.
This ended up being more smothered-and-broiled than stuffed because even two Laughing Cow wedges couldn’t fill out the monstrous mushroom.
But I’m not complaining. This was delicious. It makes a perfect starter/snack/side—and it’s SO simple. I actually felt silly typing it out as a recipe because it was so easy to make.
(By the way, it would taste insane with the new Blue Cheese flavor! How many more días ‘til June?)
Next in line—a very untraditional Foodie Diaries receta:
Bacon Lover’s Baked ‘Bello
Ingredients:
- Portobello cap
- Bacon
- Onions, diced
- Roasted red peppers, chopped
- 1/4 cup couscous (cooked)
- 1 egg
*(You’ll need individual-sized ramekins, big enough to fit the mushroom cap whole.)
Directions:
- Bake the portobello cap at 400° for 7-8 minutes (time would be more like 4-5 minutes for more average-sized portobellos).
- Cook bacon in skillet.
- Once bacon is cooked, add onions and sauté until caramelized.
- Add roasted red peppers and cooked couscous and sauté on low-heat for 3-4 minutes, just allowing enough time for the flavors to combine.
- Place portobello in ramekin, pouring any juices into the bottom. Top with skillet mixture and press down down with a spoon, making a well in the center.
- Break egg into the well(o) of the portobello. Bake until the whites are cooked through but the yolks are slightly runny.
So, have I converted to bacon-eating? Negativo. I made these for a couple of hombres—one being the infamous Kev Thug—and they both raved about them. So I figured I’d share. Because, you know, some people in blogland do eat bacon.
The next creation is much more moi.
Any guesses as to what’s inside this quesadilla?
Since I’m sure you’re entirely stumped, I’ll give you a hint.
Cottage Queso and Portobello Quesadilla
Again, I had to seize the opportunity to combine my current obsessions.
Ingredients:
- Whole wheat wrap
- 1/2 cup cottage cheese
- 1/4 cup shredded mozzarella
- Portobello cap (broiled for 5 minutes on each side and sliced)
- Onions, chopped
- EVOO
- Ranch seasoning
Directions:
- Sauté chopped onions in a pan lightly coated with EVOO for about 3 minutes or until translucent.
- Combine cottage cheese, shredded mozzarella, ranch seasoning and caramelized onions in a bowl. Mix thoroughly
- Heat whole wheat wrap in skillet and spread cottage cheese mixture on one half.
- Layer sliced portobello over cottage cheese.
- Fold wrap, carefully flip and cook ‘til desired quesadilla brownification is reached.
Clearly I love my ‘shrooms. But the magic of this concoction was definitely in the CC mixture.
If you’re not yet sick of ‘shrooms, I have uno más creation. If you are sick of ‘shrooms, I’ll have you know I saved the best for last ;).
T.M.I.A.S. (Tuna Melt In a ‘Shroom)
(To be hummed to this classic.)
Ingredients:
- Biggest portobello cap you can get your hands on
- EVOO + sea salt
- 1 can chunk light tuna
- 1 wedge Laughing Cow Light (room temperature)
- 1/4 cup shredded mozzarella
- 2 tbsp. capers
- 1/8-1/4 cup chopped onion
Directions:
- Broil portobello (lightly rubbed with EVOO and sea salt) for 5 minutes on each side.
- Caramelize chopped onions in a EVOO-coated skillet for 3 minutes, or until translucent.
- In a separate bowl, mix can of tuna, Laughing Cow, capers and caramelized onions.
- Remove portobello from oven when cooked, stuff with tuna mixture and top with shredded mozzarella.
- Return to broiler for 2-4 minutes, dependent on how crispy/burnt you want your outer layer.
Best. Combination. Ever.
I’m not sure if the brilliance was in the double cheesiness or the capers. I’m a little biased because I’m obsessed with capers and sort of think they make anything taste better. But I guess I have the same philosophy when it comes to cheese.
Especially simultaneously melty and crispy queso.
With that, I’ll conclude my ode to cabeza-sized ‘shrooms. But I can’t promise you won’t be seeing más. I may or may not have refilled the ‘shroom stash yesterday… ;).
Preguntas: What’s your take on larger-than-life vegetables/fruits? Enticed? Enamored? Freaked out? I’ve founded some way to calm all of my genetic modification neuroses and embrace ‘em. And I’m not exclusively enamored by big ‘bellos. Super-sized sweet potatoes and mighty manzanas make mi corazón flutter, too.
Happy hump-día, mis foodies favoritos!
Amor,
Sarah
You look good in your towel/dress ❤
OMG do I love you…lol. Bacon lover’s baked bello?! Um, please bring me one!
You are hilarious, girl! I love big veggies- more veggie goodness in my system:)
What awesome ‘bella recipes!! The oatmeal one sound really interesting!
bahhhhhh! we need a shroom party pronto.
you bring the shrooms. i’ll bring the laughing cow. but let’s not wait until june. original swiss will do.
Oh my gosh!! This post is awesome! I’m going to forward it to my mom. I love portobellos and my parents always bring up the times whenever I prepare them lol. Anywho, querida te ves muuuy guapa en ese foto!! OW OW! :p Are you loving the sunshine or what?!
XOXO love you my gorgeous tastebud gemela!
http://www.ohonemorething.wordpress.com
I too love ginormous produce that’s supposed to be smaller, as well as pequeño produce thats supposed to be grande! ME ENCANTAN las recetas chica 🙂
I am, for once, speechless. And have an overwhelming urge to just write in block capitals how much I love mushrooms and how much I want everything in this post. But I will resist and just say that they all look delicious and that quesadilla has my name all over it. As does the tuna melt. Oh, shoot- I WANT IT ALL, EVEN THE BACON. MUSHROOMS ARE THE BEST FOOD EVER.
Sorry Lol.
I eat ridiculous amounts of vegetables so the bigger the better. Except zuchinni- someone once told me that bigger ones taste bitter and now that I pay more attention, they really do taste kind of ick.
Oh, HI GORGEOUS. Jeezus get out of my face with that beauty. Actually, make room for me to move in so I can see it all the damn time.
I’m not much into portobellos, but maybe if you made them, I’d be down.
I do adore any giant apple, sweet potato or…nevermind. Won’t go there.
LOVE YOU!!!! xoxoxox
Woe, looks like you’ve eaten enough shrooms lately to trip yourself out! Seen anything funny lately? Little doras with large manzanas for heads, or laughing cows with cheese earrings walking around the village? If so, it may be all the shrooms fault!
You seriously crack me up!
You’re so creative!!! I have to try that tuna melt one 🙂
Oooooh, everything looks so good!! I really want to try out the oatmeal stuffed portobello… that looks wonderful!!
I’m sure this just increased mushroom’s stock like whoa! I for one will be stocking up on portobellos on my next grocery shop. (And I’m sure I’ll get some mayj gf points, as shroomies are Ari’s favorite!)
Creepy? Haha no I think it’s cute! Me encanta 🙂
The look on your face….PRICELESS!
And this is just more proof that you can stuff ANYTHING with ANYTHING and bake it…and it is probably gonna taste pretty darn good. Props to you 😉
Love it! When I was in Italy there were lemons the size of my head and I was obsessed 😉
How are you not a model? Seriously, I’m not even being a flatterer here, I don’t ask that of everyone. But your facial structure/skin/gorgeous hair just screams model to me.
And sadly, after many, many attempts at trying to change it, I absolutely abhor mushrooms. But those combinations sound good if you’re into that sort of thing.
hahaha thank you for clarifying that you are nideed NOT naked and for making mushrooms look so sassy and sexy! love ya!
I have that dress 🙂 I have to say though…mushrooms are the ONLY food I absolutely HATE. I wish I could like them, but as often as I try, they just gross me out. Creative ideas though!!
you sure got creative with your portobello! I want to try your quesadilla!
OK forget the food and all the jazz, you in your nearly nakedness inspired me to hop over to VS and discover the remedy to “it’s-too-hot-for-a-robe-but-I-can’t-be-naked-with-house-guests” dilemma. So for that, I thank you and your giant mushroom 🙂
1. You’re hot.
2. Portabellas, and mushrooms in general, are delicious. Well, except those lame white ones that sneak into omelettes; they kind of blow.
3. I’m going to take one of those lovely caps and see where my taste buds/unwise concepts of flavor combinations lead me. Hopefully towards greatness, probably towards failure. I’m definitely trying out one of these concoctions regardless!
Sarah, can I just say how much I love you? I need to make a “I love Sarah” club. Gosh, you amazing girl. I’m totally stunned by your creativity with those bellos, esp the Bacon Lover’s Baked ‘Bello (uh, is that even a surprise that that’s my fave?).
You rock!
I am OBSESSED with massively-sized produce. Like jumbo/plump/gigantic fruits and veggies. It’s like “Hmm…some freak science experiment….why is this apple SO BIG? I must buy it :D”
why oh why can we not live in the same city and be friends? i may not really like mushrooms (don’t hate), but i would gladly try each of these creations just because i love you.
and necesitamos hablar juntos pronto! porque tengo muchas cosas que quiero decirte!
te amo!
Haha wow, I could never get into portobello mushrooms. They actually scare me a bit. Okay, a lot. Looks like some great recipes. I wish I would like portobello mushrooms.
your giant mushroom has really made me crave stuffed mushrooms. bad!
i’m going to be trying a few of these recipes
Dang, those all look FANTASTIC. I iz adding portobellos to my shopping list!
And you are gorgeous. Just sayin’.
Yes for oversided veggies. The more the merrier in mi opinion. I love summertime when zucchinis are as big as my arm. I can never get enough roasted zucchini and yellow squash. Also, I keep forgetting to try your sticky rice/oats. I need to go get some soy sauce, stat.
OMG THAT IS A HUGE ONE!! i envy. LOVE portabellos ( such a fun name as well!!)
your sabra stashes always make me kinda hate you, but at the same time wish i lived closer so i could pop in for some hummus lovin at will. so my dear little hoarder, way to highlight the shrooms! now im thinking i want a fatty bello steak for lunch. i think it would marry well with chickpea heaven, no?
oh and ps, i totally cook right after showering too, so much of my prep-work is done in the nude or just undies. naked chef? yup. tmi? maybs.
I want the tuna melt mushroom asap!!! And don’t lie, you’re definitely naked…
Girl you are the mushroom queen! For sure! 🙂
Those are some awesome recipes. I clicked over to the sticky rice oatmeal and that is DEFINITELY something I need to try. Thanks for all the amazingness girly!
PS. You do look like a VS model. You have such pretty hair and nice skin.
i have NEVER seen so many delish ‘bello recipes before! I would be all over that cottage cheese ‘dilla one! OMG so so good! you are making me crave a big honkin mushroom!!!
send the LC one to hungrygirl 🙂
these all look great – i’m bookmarking this page!
thnx for reading my blog 🙂
omg that looks amazing & you are too beautiful 🙂
xoxoox
Hey!!
I’ve been lurking anonymously at your blog for a while hehe but i never commented because my other blog was more art-related and in spanish, hehe, not that you have a problem to understand spanish, señorita!. But i’ve got a new all-food blog! Hope you check it out 🙂
Lola
p.s. i was drooling with all your portobello recipes!!! delicioso!!!
Yum Yum Yum!! i love shrooms! I will definitely try your recipes!!
I love that photo of you. Not to be creepy, but you are just so gorgeous, even when you’re making a silly face 😉
Second–I really appreciate this post on portobellos! A little-known fact is that for some reason I am kind of afraid to cook with them. I don’t know why, I love white mushrooms, but something about the size intimidates me (insert TWSS joke here).
Oh and i forgot to tell you your pics with Dora are so cute!!
Ok, this is incredible! I love the sound of bacon-lovers portobello. I maybe never cook them at home but portobellos are amazing! At least now I have, oh about five different ways to try them…thanks!
Ah, portobellos are amazing! Your creations look so great. I still have yet to try making savory oats but yours are just so tempting 🙂
And I totally agree with you–over-sized apples and sweet potatoes are the best!
How have I never stuffed a huge portobello mushroom? I love them so much and have never seen or thought of doing this. It looks like a bowl of yummy goodness. I can’t WAIT to do this this weekend! My husband may keel over.
-Sunny
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